Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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