Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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