I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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