I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i've created a new STD.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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