: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
