Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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