The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
