HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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