I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
