Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
