I need help removing her.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
