so explain again why im purple
no
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
