I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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