need another drink. this is the easiest way
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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