She announced her abortion via fbk
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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