We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
