I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
