Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
