Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize