literally had 100 drinks last night.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
