so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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