The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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