We won't sleep together?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
