I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
