i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
