Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
