It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize