I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
