Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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