it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
