Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
