Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
