his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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