everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
