i just wanna soil my oats bro
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
