I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
