Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
