shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
