Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
