I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize