He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize