dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
