You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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