I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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