i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
