Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
