Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
