When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
