whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
