I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
