please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
