Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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