ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
