Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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