he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
