she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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