FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
