i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
