He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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