Sponge bath it is.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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