I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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