I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
