Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
