I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
