Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i out mim tonsoeep
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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