covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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