things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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