That's intense
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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