Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize