Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You have to summon your inner elephant
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
