Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
